In my spiritual walk, I often encounter people who are long traumatized by their association with organized Christianity. People who were raised in Fundamentalist homes, attended Pentecostal or Charismatic churches; who passed through Sunday schools, youth groups, and church membership, baptismal, or catechism course. People who reached a crisis of faith and ultimately withdrew from the entity called “The Church”.
Many are guilt-ridden, feel detached from God, or spend years going through “alternative” religious tracks…some, even abandon the concept of God completely. I have been all of those people in various stages of my religious metamorphosis. And when I meet them, the inevitable conversation ensues: a conversation that has a tone of apology, laced with bewilderment, and no small amount of rejection and hurt. Even seekers in online communities find themselve ostracized, mocked, and cursed because they believe the “wrong things”, read the wrong books, or embrace aspects of spirituality that are labelled “occult”, “new age”, even “satanic”.
I have been on both sides of those communities. For the former, I am deeply repentant of my judgmental behavior, rock-ribbed doctrinal piety, and my zeal to take apart those things I called ‘heresies’. For ther latter, I am, like those I note above, still bewildered and not without emotional trauma. How was it that I thought I could hear God that way? How is it that so quickly, I could discern the ring of falseness in the orthodoxy, and begin to see truths in the things I called heretical?
In a sweep of just under one year, my journey brings me to the conclusion which is the most uncomfortable—yet has the greatest scope of revelation about who this God is; who this Son, the Incarnate Presence of God on Earth was in his life, and more importantly, who I am in the scheme of a spiritual universe.
While I have found it painfully necessary to part ways with some friends, and to simply acknowledge each one’s own need to an individual expression of faith…I also had to admit that the structures of my prior belief system were, in fact, an invention of men; and worse, a system that strangles the personal quest for God, by invoking a false authority based upon books, church ‘elders’, and the works of Bible teachers—all invoking variations of an orthodoxy that dwelt in the narrow parameters of this thing they claimed is “Christianity”.
That there exists, literally, ten thousands of variations of this monolithic construct, makes no difference. Every schism harbors another heresy; and every heresy either evolves or dies—or worse, is murdered. That a religion founded on the principles of divine love can be exploited to justify wars, the burning of ‘witches’, the murder of homosexuals, or the denigration of women on a mass scale, became to me unbearable. The weight of thousands of years of blood-shedding screamed out through the ages. Even worse, it became patently obvious that this institutional monolith had burned not just the books of the ancient Gnostic believers, but the very people themselves—en masse!
The final indignity, with which I struggle, lies in how the POWER of this man, known as Yeshua the Nazerene, was relegated to the class of “supernatural god”, and denied to His followers. Miracles became acts of witchcraft; healing was viewed as dabbling in familiar spirits; prayers, outside the proscribed norms, was viewed as necromancy. The river of God was dammed, and barely a trickle of the water of life has flowed out from this monstrous juggernaut for 1900 years. Christianity, a faith born of the fires of John the Harbinger and the words and acts of the charismatic Master, Yeshua, became a “church” with all the political trappings of the very system of Judaism that this Messiah despised.
In effect, what I found beneath the debris field of this world deforming religious structure was a barely beating heart, and a small but vibrant light beam in the margins of the world’s religious structures. What I discovered were the breadcrumbs leading home—spiritually—to something far richer, much deeper, and vastly more authentic to the human soul. What was behind me on that path, was the faith that never was. A faith of contrived traditions, ossified beliefs, and an impotent make-believe God…one that never allowed us to be what we were created to be: HUMAN.
Consider the following quotes:
John Adams: “As I understand the Christian religion, it was, and is, a revelation. But how has it happened that millions of fables, tales, legends, have been blended with both Jewish and Christian revelation that have made them the most bloody religion that ever existed?” Letter to F. A. Van der Kamp.
Ghandi: “I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. They are so unlike your Christ.”
Thomas Jefferson, the third president of the United States: “I have examined all the known superstitions of the word, and I do not find in our particular superstition of Christianity one redeeming feature. They are all alike founded on fables and mythology. Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burnt, tortured, fined and imprisoned. What has been the effect of this coercion? To make one half the world fools and the other half hypocrites; to support roguery and error all over the earth.”
John S. Spong: “… there never was a single consistent set of Christian beliefs. There were many Christianities from the dawn of Christianity itself. Various groups have tried to define true Christianity, but when they do they almost always define their own institutional, authoritarian system.
Brian Walsh & Sylvia Keesmaat: “Of the friends of mine who have abandoned the Christian faith, very few of them stopped believing in Christ because of intellectual problems with the Bible or because they were seduced by some other worldview or belief system. Rather, they tend to abandon Christian faith because of the irrelevance, judgmentalism, internal dissension and lack of compassion they experience within the Christian community. Rather than finding the church to be the community that most deeply encouraged them in their struggles, they lost heart in their discouragement and lost their faith in the process. Rather than experiencing the church as the site of the most profound hospitality, love and acceptance, they felt excluded because of their doubts and struggles.”
All of the above quotes reflect an historical path that veers away from the “mainstream”, the “acceptable”, and the commonly held views of religion’s grip on the words, acts, and life of Yeshua, the Messiah. The same man who told us, “By their fruits ye shall know them” has been represented for too long by bigotry, narrow-mindedness, doctrinal orthodoxy, and a refusal to honor the individual soul’s path back to God.
The Church is a myth. “Biblical Christianity” is neither Biblical or authentically Christian. Fundamentalism, Reformationalism, and Evangelicalism are all sub-cults of the original Roman takeover of the first century practices and beliefs of those who perceived the true teachings of Christ. Moreover, the world’s religions all hold some truths, and many errors and in their walls live many souls who thirst to be free to search, question, and explore the ever-unfolding mysteries of the Living God.
Intolerance in the name of “purity” is spiritual slavery. Religious mindsets, formed in the image of man’s structures simply continue the witch hunts, and promote the bloodshed of the thousands of wars which have plagued humankind since the days of the Jewish Wars. Authenticity comes with a price…of losing one’s identity in a collective; its reward is the standing in one’s own soul as it arcs toward the Creator with its inner knowing as the navigator.
-Randy Maugans, November 12, 2011
Wow!!!!! where to start I am as your are struck by the inconsistency’s of all religions in this world and have not considered myself part of them for some time now can any so called Christian kill any one on this planet? Does this not go against Gods law in and of its self yet we send our sons and daughters to wars all over this planet and yet! they call them selfs Christian it is as simple as that this is just the tip of the iceberg. I am of the Lost looking for the pearl. I hope that i am explaining this well.
Oh, to be able to put into words the thoughts and feelings that you just did… those thoughts are our thoughts and the price we are paying is evident. We are arcing the sword with you Randy. Thank you for lighting the way!
Randy,
I wrote a rather lengthy comment, but decided to erase it and just say one word; THANKS !
Ahhh! You should have posted it…many times such posts are useful, instructive, and HEALING. I encourage others to share on this subject as it opens up some useful dialog (dialog is NOT a bad thing, people). There are others out there who are traumatized by religion…we heal each other by speaking truth.
Randy
Okay,
I’ve been a shadow presence for about three years. Actually found TF through ZD. I’ve listened for a long time but never really committed myself, because I always felt unsure about different things. You know, justified my actions when people changed. I could tell myself, “see, gotta be careful self”, “maybe you have itchy ears self”, “watch out for false prophets self”, and so-on. I listened to Z everyday, and he changed! I listened to you, and you started to change. I thought, no-one has any hope we are kidding ourselves. I remember when you and paul s. talked about Enoch and such. And the fellas at WW have their dogmas, and everybody else I’ve come across from around here.
I had to step back, quit posting on FB, just everything! I’ve felt really fricken lost lately, hopeless! I want to see Jesus! MAN!
Okay, I’m alright (hehe), I just know there is more to this walk than this little box of religion (?) I mean, even what is being passed-around as warnings and such from others who have been familiar here, is just more religion! I want CHRIST, HOPE OF GLORY, CHRIST IN YOU!
Well, thank God I kept stopping-back-by, because, Randy, you’re connecting dots, dots that others will call new-age, or whatever they will, BUT, Jesus Christ was and is new-age!
Anyway, I feel like I have been watching you transform, I can picture you in deep silent prayer, I can picture you meditating, I can picture you becoming a disciple in the real sense of the word. You see, let your light so shine before men… does that mean you are illuminated? or enlightened? Oh-no, bad words.
Randy, I know I have rambled here, because I’m trying to talk in public with-out offending others or appearing to gossip, but hopefully, you can understand what exactly it is I’m saying. In a word; Thanks!
I was so looking for this today and here it is. Time and again Randy, your site is the only place where I feel spiritually free to think and ask questions, even if they are in my own mind.
A faith that never was because we have to create a construct that embodies that faith like a (the) matrix. It’s the fricken tower of babel man or science, our need to understand and define and make laws. We mutilate it(the spirit, love) because we try to form it into something instead of learning how to increase its flow and intensity. What sucks even more, is that while I try to write my feelings even now, I have a horrible lacking in the spirit of love and more often than not, define myself through the systems I live in and on. I tire of talking to a faceless spirit I know is there yet never communicates with me even though I know that in some ways it has in the past. Talk about schizophrenic. What prevents me from getting deeper and more personal? A new system to try, a different approach, my need to define it in my mind and have it react to me on that level. Apparently it works for some people.
Sometimes it’s hard to love. Complacency, greed, ego, fear, there are so many things that we are programmed to react to that we push out love. Of these fear is the biggest road block to progress. As you have mentioned Randy in your past, asking questions about certain aspects of the bible or Christ are instant show stoppers. You’re branded a fool, or a new ager or even worse, a person to be wary of that will lead the flock away. Come on man, all wanted to do was ask a few questions, you know like when I was a teenager lying at night by the lake with my girlfriend and saying something that, at the time was totally profound like.. “You know the star we’re looking at right now might not even be there anymore.” And she asks “how far out do they go?” … “Forever” I say and then we both try to wrap our minds around forever. They’re just questions. Unfortunately everyone has all the answers these days.
Hey Dave, I’m so glad you posted your comment! Sometimes it is so hard to verbalize our thoughts, and it gets easy to put things on a shelf, to return later (me), at this time there just isn’t anyone to talk to. I for one am flying solo where I am, and that’s hard. Well, this morning I have re-newed hope, because I feel the same way as you, and the Lord has to be aware of all this and He is not leaving us high and dry, because He led us here. It has to be from our Father, it has to!!!!!
Peace brother,
Dan
Dave, Dan, others-
we are not “alone”, and yet we are (a paradox!)First, the kingdom within is the most important seeking. Connect to that and understand we have a marvelous “helper”, and hosts of celestial beings to guide us through our soul being, which is “Wisdom” Holy Spirit or what is called “Higher Self”. Forever is eternity…Jesus said that the kingdom is “at hand”, or has arrived…and to this day, seekers still look “outside”.
Loving the posts on this…this IS fellowship!
Randy
Dan, I’m glad you wrote too. Much like you, I listened to many shows. Zeph, WW, CMN and others. I hear what you say about people/shows changing but you could also say that the lack of change was of concern as well. Look at us, all of us, you me Randy… how much have our views changed in the last 5 years. The problem for me is that many times my change was brought about by others’ views, so was it really my change? I got wrapped up in trying to be part of the 144k movement here in the TF, but never really connected, listened to Zeph with varying amounts of agreement and never really got to the heart of the matter (still haven’t) but feel I’m on a path to start that.
The problem with my connection with God through the various dogmas, creeds and shows, wasn’t the shows or dogmas… it’s me.
I baught Jospeh Lumpkin’s book (ebook for ipod)The Lost Books of the Bible after hearing his interview with Randy. Recently started reading the Gospel of Thomas and this struck me.
“…Those who come to know themselves will find it; and when you come to know yourselves, you will understand that it is you who are the sons of the living Father. But if you will not know yourselves, you dwell in poverty and it is you who are that poverty.”
Many mega churches these days are all about self help and how to become more successful people. I feel that is an outward expression of an inward search and one that I have purposely, even if unconsciously, avoided out of fear and child hood traumas (that we ALL have). How I’m to make this inward journey is mostly unknown to me but I’m sure I’ll be shown the way one way or the other.
A couple of observations from the last couple days. My attitude in my mind has a physical effect on the people around me. That mental act of thinking about love and the higher spirit has in a couple instances (coincidence?) led to interactions with people (one in particular with a person I highly resented and have little patience with) where the word love were used in talking to each other. Another, a co-worker I shared a personal part of my past with, led her to tears and real communication. It was almost like the spirit through US was helping to communicate to me a sense of….. well, “it’s ok. things are ok.” I’m not sure I’m making any sense and I don’t totally understand it my self but somethings there.
Dan. I’m glad you reached out. I feel our paths have much in common and I look forward to listening to your thoughts as well.
Randy. Thanks for the forum and opportunity to share. I don’t have a great grasp of the higher self or the kingdom with in but I think I’m starting to scratch the surface. I would even be at this point with out you man. Thanks again and I love you very much.
Dave